Zzzzz

Methought I heard a voice cry, sleep no more!

Macbeth does murder sleep, — the innocent sleep;

Sleep, that knits up the ravell'd sleeve of care,

The death of each day's life, sore labor's bath,

Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,

Chief nourisher in life's feast.
Macbeth, scene I

I like my sleep. I am not one of those people that can get by on a couple of hours. My husband can, I can not. You can tell if I don’t get enough sleep. I even feel nauseous if I don’t get enough. But I am becoming increasingly convicted that there is a huge difference between “enough” and too much.

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During the summer, we have a very laid back life. I have children that need 10-11 hours of sleep, so they have been going to bed later and sleeping later. This leads to me sleeping later too since we had the summer off from school and all our activities. No lessons to get to, nor practice, nor Bible study to lead. No alarm clock.

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I have bared my soul here enough for you to know my battle with self. Once again this is what I am dealing with. I had not realized what I had done until I heard a friend of mine speak at a homeschool conference. I had turned sleep into an idol. Talk about stepping on my toes, I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck!

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By sleeping late, I am missing my quiet time ALONE with God. If I wait until the boys get up for me to get up, it throws my day off. I will have my quiet time, but it will not be the same. It will be interrupted with “Mom! He did…” “Mom, can I have???” “What’s for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack?” It hurts to think that I am telling God that I would rather sleep than spend my time alone with Him. Ouch!

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It is an idol. Something I am putting before God. I would not be telling you this, if I did not think that someone reading this is possibly going through the same thing, but you don’t see it. But for you, it might not be sleep. It might be that TV show you could turn off to spend time with Him. It might be that book you are reading instead of the Word of God. It might be the computer. It might be exercise. Only you know.

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In this conviction by the Holy Spirit, I have been led to the Bible, as always.

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I am convicted by reading in Mark 14 of when Jesus goes to pray at Gethsemane and tells the disciples “My soul is swallowed up in sorrow- to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake.” He prays and returns to find them sleeping. “Couldn’t you stay awake one hour? Stay awake and pray so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” And it happens again. And again. And then Jesus is betrayed. The last thing He asks them to do, and they fall asleep on the job. Sleep was more important to them. Ouch!! I am also convicted reading through the Psalms. “My voice will you hear, early in the morning….in the morning I will direct my prayer….joy cometh in the morning….sing aloud of thy mercy in the morning…” Do you see it?

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It is getting better. I know I need a better plan. I like plans, not ruts, but plans. I am planning and praying. Planning for our new school year and starting our days off right. Praying for God to help me find the balance of “enough” sleep.

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At least I don’t have Lady Macbeth’s sleep issues.